Creatures

Walking home on a trail that overlooks the ocean, I found a young man with a club. He had come from the neighboring golf course to photograph himself hitting a ball into the water below.

I had an urge to cry out, “Hey asshole! Don’t do that!” but a small crowd was watching, and I pictured them booing me. “Who are you to tell this guy off? Some park ranger?” So instead I found the guy’s golf bag, took the cover of his driver, and threw it into the woods.

Running away, I told myself I should have taken the clubs. That would have really taught him a lesson, that Polo-shirted dick.

Then I imagined my mom’s voice: “What was the point? He still hit a ball in the ocean, and now you’re a thief.” Oh! I should have been brave! I should have snatched the golf ball off the asshole’s tee and said, “Isn’t there enough plastic in the ocean?”

But now, writing this, I recall that he, too, is one of Earth’s creatures. I wish I had greeted him with a handshake, saying, “Friend, are you forgetting the seals and fish that live here? Are you forgetting the whales and dolphins that hunt here? Are you forgetting where and what you are?”